A former colleague from work, who happens to be a close friend, invited me for lunch couple days ago. I knew it wasn't going to be a catch-up session, and I was right. She was confused, about her love life, a very recent fling.
She was just recovering from a failed relationship, the one where the other person left for a marriage with somebody else. Not that the guy was committed in the first place, but that was not the point. Another man showed up just in the right time, offering comfort, or so what everybody thought. I know the guy, not too close, but he was also a former colleague from work. He was not much of a difference, less commitment and more confusion. A fight ensued several days before, and the relationship was in an awkward position. Neither one of them want to make the first reconciliation move.
I told her what was on my mind given the situation. I talked left and right, but she summarized it best on her own. A simple and objective, but unfortunately a bit cold truth. It was almost 90 days, but the two of them had not figured out what they want from the relationship. I have been in a "going-nowhere" relationship before, and I realized that it should not take too long to make up your mind. If neither one of you are sure, then was it worth fighting for?
Love is not always smooth, lasting love requires sacrifices and some ego-busting. Love does not recognize ego, but that does not mean you don't have self-worth. Love got tested most often during tumultuous time, when sacrifices are required. When one party gives up too easily, then does the test tell you something? If the love is worth fighting for, then both of you will fight to defend it. Lower your egos for each other, but remain respectful of each other's self-worth, and of your own.
And lastly, your loving partner will chase for your affection. Motives may be in question, but there will be times when motives got tested. When you love your partner, you will fight for her love, and when you know what you want from your relationship, then both of you will fight for your love to each other.
The talk wasn't that succinct, but she helped me out sharpening it. Good luck to you, my friend. May that lasting love come after you very soon! All that you find along the way are part of the journey.